


Only if I get my name on it

by Oblivium



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Agent MIA, Bond really wants that exploding pen, Explosions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 02:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16031378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oblivium/pseuds/Oblivium
Summary: Bond gets off radar. Q shouldn't mind because it happens often. But he does mind.





	Only if I get my name on it

Personally Q believes that one of the worst things that can happen during a mission is an agent getting off radar. Sadly it happens far too often. Especially with a certain double-oh agent.  
“Bond? Bond! Report, you twat.” Q was not yelling. He was not, really. He was just slightly upset and he might have raised his voice just a bit. Why on earth would he yell? Agents got off the radar so many times. It’s not that big of a deal. Except to Q it is.  
Only a few minutes ago Q could hear gunfire, screaming and explosions. Now everything had turned silent. Deadly silent. “Do you copy, Bond?”  
“I copy.” Bond’s voice was hoarse.  
Q had almost forgotten Malory –M now- stood in the same room as him.“How’s the situation?”  
The agent’s careless tone send chills down Q’s spine. “Hellish. I believe I’m dying.” A cough, a muttered swear and a humourless laugh followed. “For once all the equipment is in one piece and I won’t even be able to return it in.”  
“Coordinates?”  
“Some shithole Malory send me.”  
“Coordinates, Bond.” Malory’s voice was ice-cold and without mercy.  
The agent’s voice sounded genuine tired. “Don’t bother.”  
“Bond-”  
Q didn’t waste any time. Malory kept talking to Bond mainly to get the fucking coordinates. But Q knew very well that keeping Bond talking was also keeping him alive. Q tried tracking the radio although he somehow already knew that he wouldn’t get a signal. Q muttered a swear under his breath. “He’s underground.”  
“Don’t waste your energy.”  
“You’re not dying on me. If you have a death wish so badly, you can go die when I’m on a holiday.” The guy made a living out of surviving explosions. And now he wouldn’t survive a bit of gunfire and some explosions. “..Explosions.” That punch Q deserved was going to have to wait for when all was cleared out. Q directed to the employments of Q branch: “Check for explosion in the region of Bamako happened in the last ten minutes.”  
Somewhere on the background there was grunting audible and a certain agent stating that it was already too late.  
A mousy woman tying away on her keyboard replied. “We found the coordinates.”  
“Are there any agents present in the area?”  
“Five sir.”  
“Send them all immediately.”  
“Yes sir.”  
Once again Bond was heard.“You better don’t send them. It’s suicide. They won’t reach me in time anyway.”  
“Yes, thanks for your input. Didn’t need any though. The only thing you need to do is keep breathing.”  
“If I do that - and I say if – what is my reward? What do I get out of it.”  
“We really don’t need that attitude, agent.” Bond really thought he was going to die. And it didn’t even seem like Malory cared all that much.  
“Shut up, Malory. I was talking to Q. Why in heavens would I ever talk to you?”  
Even if Bond was to survive he was making his chances on living smaller the longer he was on speaker. “You get to live. Get the girl. Save the day. You know, the usual.”  
“Do I get an exploding pen?”  
“Really Bond?”  
“Really Q.”  
“I think you should avoid explosions for a while.”  
“Do I get it or not?”  
“Live to see.”  
“Only if I get my name on it.”  
“Deal.”  
“Good.”

**Author's Note:**

> Found this fic recently. I wrote it years ago, never posted it.


End file.
